Monday, August 22, 2005

A Public Service Annoucement

'Cuz it's Monday and I'm sure we all could use a laugh. And nothing makes you laugh harder than real life morons in the mists...

All items here are true and things I have experienced while working in the wonderfully stuffy world of insurance (it's been almost 3 years now).

SO here goes in no certain order.....

Things NOT to do in a Public Restroom

Moan, groan or grunt repeatedly.

Come directly out of the restroom, go to your cube, and tell your co-workers about said grunter/groaner you were just in the restroom with. (I know this doesn’t directly take place in the restroom but still… I don’t want to hear about it. This one mainly pertains mostly to men since women here seem to act like being human and needing to use the restroom for anything but checking your hair and/or makeup is NOT something a lady does. Whatever.)

Use your cell phone while in a stall doing your thing (c’mon! I don’t even like talking to my MOM on the phone while in the bathroom at HOME!! I wouldn't dream of scheduling a business meeting from a bathroom stall!). See also #3, #4, and #5 concerning cell phones in public restrooms.

Argue with your cell phone company about last month’s bill you haven’t paid yet.

Argue with your car loan company about last month’s bill you haven’t paid yet. (Obviously this is the same person as #3, I know much more about this woman’s finances than I really need thanks to her regular restroom phone 'conversations'.)

Discuss this evenings dinner plans with your significant other.

Gossip about the new employee without checking to see if they could very well be in there at the same time (they being me, hah).

Stand in the ‘waiting’ area and have a full discussion about your pregnancy with several others giving all the gory (and I do mean gory) details.

Use one of those paper seat-protectors and then leave it there on the toliet for someone else to deal with (if you’re worried about your ass-matter what makes you think someone else wants to deal with it?!)

Use FIVE of those paper seat-protectors and then leave them there on the toliet for someone else to deal with.

Worry about the paper seat-protector and yet not wash your hands.

Talk to yourself—out loud.

Pep-talk yourself through changing your tampon—out loud. (WTF?!)

Not Flush. How can you forget to flush in a public restroom?!?

Dump your lunch in a toilet and not flush. (UGH)

Eat ANYTHING in a public restroom!!!! (Jesu! Do you have a deathwish?!? *shudder* *gag*)

Try to fit more than one adult into a stall.

Stand half in the restroom with the main door open while chatting with someone down the hallway.


I'm a bitch, easily irritated by some pretty damn silly things. So expect this list to grow. =D


Jessica said...

"Pep-talk yourself through changing your tampon—out loud."

You have to be kidding me. It's not really all that complex. [shakes head] No wonder I'm a misanthrope...

Deneen said...

Okay, the moaning, groaning and grunting. For some reason, men do this. My husband will also tell me the story of someone doing this whenever he encounters this problem. Ewww....

Seat liners-I don't get the use of them either, then not washing your hands, but taking the time to reapply make-up, fix your hair, admire yourself. Ewww-2

I'd love to know what gossip they were saying about you and if you hung around to face them down afterwards.

Worst thing I ever encountered was a woman in the stall next to me having explosive stuff (you know, do I have to spell it) and talking to her friend about lunch plans, at the same time. Double-ewwwwww......

Weirdest, the lady who takes off her shoes in the stall and puts her feet on top of them to go pooh, what is that????

Jessica said...

Have you ever considered submitting particularly juicy items to Overheard in the Office? I'm an occasional contributor... ;)

PBnJ said...

deneen: ewwwwwww some people have some just plain weird habits. i'll never understand humans, heh.

as for the gossip mongers in the restroom... they were making fun of my "style" or lack there of, LOL. honestly... if you're looking for a way to offend me picking on my "style" isn't the way to do it. we're not in high school any more i don't care what others think of the clothes and such that i like. i've long outgrown that insecurity. IF I LIKE IT -- THEY CAN STUFF IT, LOL.

if i remember right one even made a snarky comment about how long hair isn't "in", how dare i grow it out to my waist AND wear it down all the time?! four simple letters ladies... STFU. =P

when i came out of the stall i didn't say anything, i just looked them in the eye and smirked. doing my best to let them know i didn't give a shit what they thought.

jessica: ohhhh that site is too funny!! i ended up reading all of this months and last months posts, heh. i'm going to think and see if i can come up with a good comment to submit. heaven knows ive heard a lot of crazy and just plain stupid stuff around here, heh.